The Commitment Cure"The Commitment Cure: What to Do When You Fall for an Ambivalent Man"

by Rhonda Findling

The Commitment Cure: What to Do When You Fall for an Ambivalent Man was a great read after a break-up. It definitley helped me to not pick up the phone and call that Ambivalent Man! Rhonda Findling gives you a run down on types of ambivalent men as well as reason you might be attracting them. She also gives you excersies you can do to help you walk away and never turn back. This book could be read over and over again, and should!~J. B.


The Commitment Cure: What to Do When You Fall for an Ambivalent Man

Book Description
Ambivalence (am-biv-e-lens) n. 1. The existence of mixed feelings toward someone or something. Difficulty in reaching a decision.

Ambivalent Man (am-biv-e-lent man) n. Abbreviation: AM. 1. One who exhibits or feels ambivalence toward women. 2. One who plays games. He wants a relationship; he wants to break up. He’s confused, mixed up, inconsistent, and unpredictable. Yet he’s irresistible and easy to fall in love with . . . and almost sure to cause a broken heart.

The Commitment Cure is the first book to help women figure out what to do once they’ve fallen for an "AM" by helping to demystify the six types of Ambivalent Men and their characteristics. The six types are:

·The Runner
·The Man Who Plays Parlor Games
·The Casual Dater
·The Fling Man
·The Eternal Bachelor
·The Ambivalent Cyber Man

Packed with myriad helpful quizzes, advice, and personal stories of women from the trenches, The Commitment Cure helps women make smart and savvy decisions about when to stick by an AM—and when to kick him to the curb!

About the Author
Rhonda Findling (New York, NY) is the author of Don’t Call That Man! For more than nineteen years, she has worked as a psychotherapist, helping men and women with commitment issues. She holds a master’s degree in clinical psychology, and she is a certified rehabilitation counselor. Ms. Findling has conducted workshops and seminars throughout New York and Los Angeles at the Learning Annex, the Seminar Center, Hazelden, and the 92nd Street Y. She has appeared on Ricki Lake, Good Day New York, and Maury Povich.

READER'S COMMENTS ON The Commitment Cure: What to Do When You Fall for an Ambivalent Man

I bought this book right after a difficult breakup with an ambivalent man, and it helped me tremendously. I've recommended it to all of my girlfriends. It's great for helping you understand past relationships and better preparing you for new ones. Findling does an awesome job of explaining why many men do what they do and how best to respond to their behavior.~A Reader


RE: The Commitment Cure: What to Do When You Fall for an Ambivalent Man

Even though I'm not looking for marriage...this book helps you to understand men and why they do the things they do. Highly recommended.~Denise




RE: The Commitment Cure: What to Do When You Fall for an Ambivalent Man

If you are dealing with a guy who is ambiguous and you feel like one minute he loves you, the next minute he's in his own little world, this is the perfect book! Very helpful. ~Katie


RE: The Commitment Cure: What to Do When You Fall for an Ambivalent Man

Great advice for the 'needy'! Rhonda Findling's second book was even more helpful for me than her first (Don't Call that Man). Not just an advice book (though Rhonda has plenty to give here) it provides lots of straightforward insight as to why we cling and accept rejection from all types of unsuitable men (from the Men Who Play Parlor Games, to Runners, to Ambivalent Cybermen). Going beyond blaming dear old mom or dad, she also helps us examine our relationships with our siblings, our insecurities, and our deepest darkest fears. Enlightening and accurate is her evaluation of the diffent types of ambivalent men and how and why they operate. Most helpful is the focus on protecting ourselves and avoiding the pitfalls in this crazy world of love. It's a must read for single women who want a healthy relationship next time; women who have loved and been brutally hurt, and most of all, women who find themselves trapped in a cycle of ambivalent men and want to stop the madness. NB- A free bonus is her message board where the wounded can vent and find warm words and supportive friends.~A Reader



Ms. Findling's book (The Commitment Cure: What to Do When You Fall for an Ambivalent Man) should be in the ready reference section of every woman's personal library. In the event she doesn't need it, she is practically certain to have a friend or family member who does. The book addresses the problems women experience in trying to have a committed relationship with a man. The book is just as effective for married women in problem relationships as it is for single women.

The focus of the book is twofold: on the chronically ambivalent man and the woman trying to have a committed relationship with him. There is a good deal of valuable analysis and insight about chronically ambivalent/unavailable men but there is, to my mind, even more helpful information and guidance for and about the woman in such a relationship, including women who repeat this frustrating and painful experience with man after man.

The book's main message is that women who are struggling with an ambivalent/unavailable man need to keep the focus as much or more on their needs and perceptions as on the man's problems. No, it is not about a woman needing to lose weight, have breast augmentation surgery or learning to become more submissive. It is, first, about dealing with the guilt and feeling of inadequacy that many women experience in such relationships; second, it is about specific actions a woman can take to better manage both her feelings and the relationship; and, third, it is about learning to feel good and complete within oneself with or without a man.~Alan L.



RE: The Commitment Cure: What to Do When You Fall for an Ambivalent Man

MOST COMPREHENSIVE BOOK ON AMBIVALENT MEN! It guides a woman to regain her life and looks at the causes for his ambivalent behavior and the reasons why a woman may tolerate such bad behavior from an ambivalent man. The book does not preach, rather, it guides the reader through the process of recognizing patterns and modifying her behavior to empower herself! The book a guide to self-discovery and you will use it as a reference book for life!~LA Girl



RE: The Commitment Cure: What to Do When You Fall for an Ambivalent Man

Order this book. All those ???? in your head will start get some answers. Answers that make sense and help guide your heart.

I hope that this book ends up on the best seller list because with all the relationship books out helping you to understand confusing male behavior in a relationship, The Commitment Cure is the real deal.

If you wonder why he acts the way he does AND why you act the way you do in response to him, here are your answers.

What Rhonda's book (
The Commitment Cure: What to Do When You Fall for an Ambivalent Man) teaches you is how to deal with these situations when there are a dozen questions in your head - he love me/he loves me not.

It is clear and direct - she describes what his behaviors look like and whether it is worth your emotions and heart (not to mention mental wellbeing) to keep gambling on this man or to walk away from the blackjack table. It is not just a "how to get a man" book but how to recognize a healthy man who is capable of involvement.

For every woman who has ever been involved with a Runner (the guy who leaves when the going gets good), the Fling man (oh so perfect and romantic for a little while anyway) or the Eternal bachelor (that wonderful guy you have been dating for 3 years but has no intention of ever getting married) you will now understand what makes him tick and what you need to do for yourself.

The chapter on "The Desparate Woman" is a must read for the doormats out there to help them understand that they give away all their power and self esteem when they are in that clingy desparate state.

The chapter entitled "Unio Mystica" explains how powerful the sexual attachment can be to the ambivalent man. For those who have been there, this will relate to this. She helps you understand why you are so attached and how to break those bonds.

I think the Commitment Cure helps you to get the closure you are seeking. Your questions are answered without having the need to have a painful encounter with a man you know deep inside you have no business talking to.~A Reader


RE: The Commitment Cure: What to Do When You Fall for an Ambivalent Man

This book is Heaven Sent! It is not only explaining the man's behaviour you might be involved with but makes it quite clear that you might have some issues as well which you have to face in order to be able to move away from such a man ( if you want to)

For me the best book in a long time and a MUST for everybody who's struggling with men's beahviour and your own fears


RE: The Commitment Cure: What to Do When You Fall for an Ambivalent Man

Rhonda Findling's superb writing fills in the cracks and voids left by other books on commitmentphobic-men (and women). Here, succinctly, are descriptions of all the men I have dated since my divorce 11 years ago. Half of that time period I was without the technology of the Internet where information and assistance are available 24/7. I sought answers, instead, by devouring relationship books: a practice which has been characterized as a trite habit to conduct while wearing dark sunglasses and perhaps a trenchcoat to disguise one's identity.

Despite the trivialization, "self-help" books ARE exactly that, and a boon to heartsick persons who try to understand their ex's actions and reasons. Perhaps a woman spoke first to a man or answered his personal ad: *that* is the reason for failure, and now she must chastise herself to all eternity for such stupidity. Or, maybe she didn't unlock the car door after being helped into the vehicle: such discourtesy on her part now means she has lost that man forever. But in Rhonda Findling's wise tome, The Commitment Cure, we find clear and concise answers and advice which lifts the burdens from our shoulders.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who has been confused, hurt, heartbroken, and more. You may just find the answers to your own inner agony. ~MidnightMaven2000


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